Alas no, due to the rather unexpected result, everything is still all 'election, election, election.' I'm of a mind that really, they are all a bunch of lying, back stabbing cunts, who are more interested in power and personal gain than the actual good of the country, and the civil servants do all the proper work anyway, so maybe we should just get rid of all the fucking politicians.
If we really needed someone in charge, maybe we could get the Queen to do it. Apparently she is very thrifty, keeping her cereal in Tupperware boxes so it doesn't go soggy (I long to be someone organised enough to decant stuff into Tupperware. I went through a phase of putting stuff into adorable Kilner jars, but rapidly lost interest when I realised it just made more washing up). She is also very cunning, as despite having many, many squillions of lovely cashingtons of her own, lots of fabulous bling, and a large selection of palaces, she has convinced the tax payers to give her many more squillions and pay for all her houses, in return for which she waves to them. Brilliant! She'd do an excellent job, I think. And if anyone misses the old system, Prince Philip can make some racist remarks, and they can be annoyed with him and pretend he is a UKIP candidate.
Anyway, back to the bloody election. If everyone is going on about it, I might as well get all my grumbles off my chest here, then go back to sighing covetously over Fairfax and Favor's website, uninhibited by serious thoughts.
Firstly, I hold my hands up and say yes, I did vote for the Tories, and I don't care. It doesn't actually matter a jot that I did anyway, as it made not the slightest difference to the SNP victories. In light of the fact that my vote would change nothing, I voted for what, in my opinion, was the least shit option.
Having observed the SNP in action for a little while now, I had grave reservations about them forming a coalition and actually having real power over the whole country. This is the party that next year is introducing the 'Named Persons' law in Scotland, whereby every single child from birth to eighteen years old will be assigned a state guardian, with the power to access their school and medical records without parental consent, and make decisions for the child's welfare, again, without the parents consenting or being consulted. Let me say that again. A stranger will be given greater powers over the lives of every single Scottish child than the child's own parents will have. Not just children deemed at risk, or in danger or in need. Every single child. And there is no opt out clause. This will happen whether you like it or not.
The arguments in favour of it are that it will mean if multiple agencies are involved in a child's welfare, then this 'Named Person' will be able to coordinate them all, and it will put a stop to cases where different agencies failed to communicate and children came to harm. The alternative is, of course, that the various agencies responsible for child welfare just do their fucking jobs properly, but that is not nearly as much fun as appointing a state guardian to interfere in my child's life.
The inference is also there if you have nothing to hide, then you have nothing to fear from the Named Person, and therefore, well, if you're objecting to having your family life scrutinised by the state, what dirty little secrets are you afraid of being revealed?
The Named Persons issue is one of my biggest SNP bugbears I must admit, but there's quite a few other niggles there too. I can't shake the feeling that an awful lot of their policies are purely vote buying measures, and the true cost is hidden. Take for example the free university places. I know what anyone reading this in England must be thinking- 'Free university places? Surely Tory Girl isn't going to complain about that? We'd chew our own bloody arm off for such privileges.' And no, I'm not complaining, it's going to be jolly nice for us to not have to fork out tuition fees for Saff in a couple of years. But, the trouble with these free places for every Scottish student at a Scottish university is that in order to help finance it, grants for living expenses have been slashed. And the knock on effect of this is that since the introduction of the free places, the number of students from poorer backgrounds has declined.
I may be a Tory voting, pearl twirling, middle class monster, but this disturbs me. The truth is that we could probably afford to pay tuition fees if we had to. We're not going to obviously, because we're not mental, nor that socially responsible, and I would have to either drink a lot less wine, or drink cheaper wine, and both those scenarios are quite depressing. But we could, if we had to, and I can't help but feel that Scotland, Britain, and the world would be a better place if, instead of promising free beer and rainbow unicorns for everyone, tuition fees were means tested and the revenue used to help bright kids from shitty backgrounds build a better life for themselves. But that wouldn't actually be nearly such a popular, shiny, vote grabbing move.
My problems with the free school meals for every child in Primary 1-3 classes are similar. Why are they giving every child a free school lunch? I have absolutely no problem with my taxes being spent on providing one decent meal a day for kids whose parents either can't or won't feed them properly. But why waste millions feeding all the kids whose parents can and do feed them? Why not use that money to try and educate the people who need it most about health and nutrition? Or use it to provide the children who need it with more than one decent meal a day? But again, the grandiose gesture of free school meals for all is a jolly good way of making yourself look awfully attractive to large swathes of the population.
There's lots more I could go on about, but then I'd have to start Googling actual facts and figures to back them up, and it's Saturday night and I just want to drink some* wine (don't tell the SNP). But when it came down to it, although I didn't really want to vote for anyone, I voted Tory, because I didn't think Ed Miliband was a strong enough leader to stand up to the tiny, tartan force of nature that is Nicola Sturgeon. Who knows what will happen now? Maybe we're fucked, maybe we're not. Hopefully at least soon normal service will resume and we'll have some nice cat pictures to look at while the world comes to an end.
*A lot.
The arguments in favour of it are that it will mean if multiple agencies are involved in a child's welfare, then this 'Named Person' will be able to coordinate them all, and it will put a stop to cases where different agencies failed to communicate and children came to harm. The alternative is, of course, that the various agencies responsible for child welfare just do their fucking jobs properly, but that is not nearly as much fun as appointing a state guardian to interfere in my child's life.
The inference is also there if you have nothing to hide, then you have nothing to fear from the Named Person, and therefore, well, if you're objecting to having your family life scrutinised by the state, what dirty little secrets are you afraid of being revealed?
The Named Persons issue is one of my biggest SNP bugbears I must admit, but there's quite a few other niggles there too. I can't shake the feeling that an awful lot of their policies are purely vote buying measures, and the true cost is hidden. Take for example the free university places. I know what anyone reading this in England must be thinking- 'Free university places? Surely Tory Girl isn't going to complain about that? We'd chew our own bloody arm off for such privileges.' And no, I'm not complaining, it's going to be jolly nice for us to not have to fork out tuition fees for Saff in a couple of years. But, the trouble with these free places for every Scottish student at a Scottish university is that in order to help finance it, grants for living expenses have been slashed. And the knock on effect of this is that since the introduction of the free places, the number of students from poorer backgrounds has declined.
I may be a Tory voting, pearl twirling, middle class monster, but this disturbs me. The truth is that we could probably afford to pay tuition fees if we had to. We're not going to obviously, because we're not mental, nor that socially responsible, and I would have to either drink a lot less wine, or drink cheaper wine, and both those scenarios are quite depressing. But we could, if we had to, and I can't help but feel that Scotland, Britain, and the world would be a better place if, instead of promising free beer and rainbow unicorns for everyone, tuition fees were means tested and the revenue used to help bright kids from shitty backgrounds build a better life for themselves. But that wouldn't actually be nearly such a popular, shiny, vote grabbing move.
My problems with the free school meals for every child in Primary 1-3 classes are similar. Why are they giving every child a free school lunch? I have absolutely no problem with my taxes being spent on providing one decent meal a day for kids whose parents either can't or won't feed them properly. But why waste millions feeding all the kids whose parents can and do feed them? Why not use that money to try and educate the people who need it most about health and nutrition? Or use it to provide the children who need it with more than one decent meal a day? But again, the grandiose gesture of free school meals for all is a jolly good way of making yourself look awfully attractive to large swathes of the population.
There's lots more I could go on about, but then I'd have to start Googling actual facts and figures to back them up, and it's Saturday night and I just want to drink some* wine (don't tell the SNP). But when it came down to it, although I didn't really want to vote for anyone, I voted Tory, because I didn't think Ed Miliband was a strong enough leader to stand up to the tiny, tartan force of nature that is Nicola Sturgeon. Who knows what will happen now? Maybe we're fucked, maybe we're not. Hopefully at least soon normal service will resume and we'll have some nice cat pictures to look at while the world comes to an end.
*A lot.
