So apparently, there's some sort of referendum thing happening next week? Just joking, the news of the vote on Scottish Independence has even penetrated my self absorbed little bubble, mainly by spoiling Facebook because everyone is posting boring political links instead of amusing pictures of cats and Buzzfeed quizzes that may or may not reveal my hidden depths.
So I'll hold my hands up and say straight off: I'm a No vote. Initially, I was a No vote simply because I don't like change, and also I was very worried there might be no Waitroses in an independent Scotland. Also, just voting No was much easier than actually having to think about things.
But this has been a long and nasty campaign; and one that has forced me to actually do my own research*, and think about what being Scottish, or being British really means to me, and what independence would offer- for me, for my family and friends, and for Scotland and the United Kingdom.
I wasn't born in Scotland. I wasn't even born in the UK. I only have one British parent and I hold my British nationality through him. I didn't spend my early years in Britain, but I've lived in Scotland for the best part of 25 years. I spent most of secondary school in Scotland and I went to a Scottish university. My children were born here. I made my husband move here when we got married, because I loved Scotland and this was where I wanted to be, and to bring up my children. The Scotland that has been poking it's head above the parapet over the last few weeks though, isn't a country I want to be part of.
I've always thought of myself as British, rather than Scottish. Perhaps it's a throwback to living overseas as a child. Certainly, in those days, it was England we returned to as 'home', not Scotland. I have one dim and distant memory of visiting Scotland when I was six, for my great grandmother's funeral and recall it as a Narnia-esque world of ice and snow.** But when we came here to live, in my teens, I found it a generous and welcoming place, despite my posh English accent***
By and large, it's always been like that. It's a small place- the population of the whole country is just over half of London's, and wherever you go, there's a good chance you'll meet someone who knows someone who knows someone, or is from the same place.**** It's not all shortbread and tartan love- the sectarianism is a hideous and massive problem and there are areas of dreadful poverty and depravation, as there are everywhere in the UK.
Up until now though, I'd always thought of Scotland as a pretty laid back, tolerant place to live. Where, apart from the fucking bampots who think football equates to religion and that either of them actually matter, most people were prepared to live and let live, and everyone was pretty chilled. A country where I can step out my door and take a photo like this:
This Scotland that I know, and have come to love; a country that was reminiscent of a slightly chaotic uncle who was a bit over fond of the sauce and inclined to tactlessness, but was ultimately well meaning*****, seems to have been replaced by another, far nastier entity. A Scotland that seems a cross between an angry petulant toddler determined to throw all its toys out the pram, and a professional victim who refuses to take any responsibility for its actions because it wants to blame everyone else.
I dislike so many things about this campaign. I am terrified by the Yeses' consistent dismissal of facts and figures as 'scaremongering' or 'bullying'. I'm not terribly wild about the Nos' lack of passion for their cause. Signs and banners have been defaced on both sides, which is just childish and petty.
The thing that has angered and upset me most though is the sheer unfairness of it all. This referendum is not just about Scottish independence. It's about potentially dismantling the United Kingdom, yet England, Wales and Northern Ireland get no say in the matter. Allowing sixteen and seventeen year olds to vote has been decried as a dreadful idea, by both sides, and by those sixteen and seventeen year olds, who find it's causing factions and peer pressure at school.
Worst of all though, is this notion that everything that is wrong with Scotland, is England's fault. That everything that is wrong in Scotland could be fixed by breaking away from England, because England has been doing its level best to OPPRESS Scotland, for no other reason than because it can.
England is 'The Auld Enemy'. For most people, for so long, a joking and affectionate insult. Like calling your skinny sister 'Fatty' or your strawberry blond brother 'Fanta Pants'. Deeply insulting from anyone else, but from you, when said with love, just a family joke. But this campaign has changed this. England now is actually the enemy. England is the alleged cause of all Scotland's woes. Even, according to some total and utter fuckwitted fucktards, England is an 'invading, occupying force' in Scotland (the fact Scotland actively sought the Union, so England could bail them out of their financial straits has been somehow overlooked). Apparently, nothing that is wrong with Scotland, is Scotland's fault. England did it all. Scotland wasn't even there; a big lad did it and ran away.
As part of this union, Scotland joined an Empire that spanned the world and shaped history. If it had never become part of the United Kingdom, would Scotland be what it is now? Would the Clyde have been deepened and widened, so it could become the ship building centre of Britain? Would Glasgow be the second city of the Empire, if Scotland hadn't been part of the United Kingdom? Clydeside may be dying, but without the Union, it would never have existed.
A massive selling point of the Yeses, is that in an independent Scotland, we'll have the government we voted for. Will we? Given half the country is against independence, how will we all have the government they want, if the SNP succeed? The thing about democracy is that there's always someone who doesn't have a government they voted for. I had thirteen years of it. It's not that big a deal. It's certainly not worth destroying Britain for.
There's so many more things I want to say. So many points I want to make. But it comes down to this. I don't want to live in a country that can't forge independence without taking responsibility for itself. And I don't want to live in a country that has demanded independence at all costs, because it wants it, like an angry toddler demanding its dummy, and it'll thrweam and thrweam and thrweam until its thick otherwise. And I most of all don't want to live in a country that can only rally independence votes by insulting its closest neighbours. I'm happy to be Scottish. But I'd rather be British.
* I read the Facebook links
** And shouting and violence due to my sister locking herself in the bathroom while my parents were at the funeral and the family friend who was looking after us having to break the door down. Totes Scottish!
*** Still have it.
**** Except Dundee. Dundee is a bad place. Don't go to Dundee.
***** I may have confused 'Scotland' with Prince Philip.
